When I am immersed in creative pursuits, such as sewing, drawing, and designing, I unconsciously block out intrusive thoughts (as well as physical symptoms like a runny nose). This is likely due to certain hormonal responses. When I use the sewing machine, when I draw pictures while looking at reference photos, or when I struggle to balance color and design, my mind enters a state of flow. Probably “empty” is not the most accurate word, but I feel as if there is a total blank when I concentrate on the process of making. Intrusive thoughts, such as financial anxieties or severe allergy symptoms, disappear entirely during those moments.
I have been creative since I was very little, but during my adolescence, I could not be satisfied with any of my creations, so I often threw them away right after completing them. I was profoundly dissatisfied with everything I produced, perhaps because my mental well-being was not properly maintained at the time. I now feel that as long as my mental health is stable, I can find satisfaction in my work while keeping intrusive self-doubt at bay.
